THEME

Tonight’s celebration was cut short by some tragic news. Pierce Hawthorne, 14-year Greendale student, entrepreneur and expert heart attack faker, passed away. For real, this time. Pierce had been recently banned from campus, but not from our hearts. He survived by many ex-wives and all of us here at Greendale that called him friend. If you’re listening Pierce, you were a hell of a D&D player. It’s time to level up.

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